volume iV

Featuring Dark Matter Jesus

1. Future Men

I fell asleep early, after listening to politicians speak of future men
I dreamt of a north eastern forest, it was some kind of party
Pat and Curt were there, Curt had on his old hoodie
And he’d been clean like the past five years never happened
Then we dispersed into the forest

And I awoke around 1am, to the sounds of rain
And I try to go back to sleep again
Do I have a head cold? 
Or was that a fever dream?
Or just bad allergies?

And I walked, until I found a house
In the basement I found a couch,
I put the tv on and you came in

When you came in you took the remote and turned the tv off
And you crawled into that couch and we tried several different positions
And like a catyou put your two paws on my chest and kissed me
And then we slept for four days and felt refreshed


2. Glass Panes

Break a time frame
Be alone, use mind games on yourself
If you have the energy,
Smash memories, look in the mirror and ask “Who’s this?”

Write poetry everyone can see,
Well, have a rap sheet; get tangled up in bed sheets,
Get more sleep, make dinner late, eat on paper plates

I should learn to meditate,
Sit on the grass, and eat more ash
Stop feeling bad about the past
Get your head on, move up the social ladder

And I should start having relations with nuns,
Fall for a girl with a bonnet
Goddamn that sounds pathetic
I should join a book club for ex-husbands who live in the death of divorce
Have nightmares you're back in court
The judge she stalks you at your work
Brush it off like the broken speaker in your car that you pray still works


3. Recycled Art

Well the first punch was knockout,
Now I’m trying to find my shoes on the ground
Recycle my art I’ll write you the best lines
I’ve “Wondered where you are, I’ve hoped you’re happy,
I’ve hoped those boys in your bed are just keeping the bed warm for me”

But it’s just that you have so much company

Loving someone or something does not make that object perfect
Nor does it make up for the mistakes
Or the crimes it perpetrated
I’ve been asking bigger questions

Go to work don’t think about dying
Sneak behind the bakery steal stale bread
Don’t fall in love with lovers,
Because lovers are loners


4. Ugly

This template is a stage where the actors can improvise and create their own lines
Say what they need to say,
Where the actress is not an actress just a girl on stage
She belts it out not proud or ashamed
Just a girl who has so much to say
Just someone who has so much to say

Don’t ask about ugly because there is so much to say

And the curtains close when the sky goes
But the actors stay on stage
Way after the audience leaves
They dream of situations they dream they’d be in
But they're only dreamers

My best chance will always be
To be the kings court jester


5. Bad Vacation

I dreamt that I found love inside of a swamp, a vacation in hell
There were these two twin sisters,
With fins, scaled lips and jagged teeth
They held me down on the garbage heap

Looks like we might lose again, well your throats dry from golden pollen
Your clothes your backpack stolen

Now I have my shoes on, going to walk to the beach,
I’m going to find the perfect wave,
Sail on it, write the perfect sonnet
To make myself fall into you

Well one of them she spoke a spell
There feet turned back into fins
And they floated out back to where they came from
What a wonderful vacation, this vacation in hell


6. Prison Yard

And I saw a flower beyond the prison yard
I hope the grounds keeper doesn’t mow over it
When the warden won’t tell you his time
It’s hard not to think about how long this sentence is
And the wardens a prick and time can be a bitch
So I’m going to switch my daily routine until I can’t make any sense of it
Until I can’t make any sense of this

And it’s hard to let go if you never had a handle on it

And I just want to is chain smoke and exercise
It’s obvious I don’t know whether I want to live or whether I want to die
I didn’t speak for forty-eight hours; I think it may have been longer
And I haven’t bumped shoulders with anyone I’d want to in months


7. Stray Cats

Well does being alone have to be so damn ugly?
Do I have sit like a stray cat?
And move my head towards any type of affection?
When you’re lonely,
People see that your heart carries infection
I took a walk with my winter coat,
Silhouettes of mountains,
They use to carry hope and compassion; they use to guard me,
Now it feels like they suffocate and trap me

When emptiness rings louder, laughter should hit you harder
I’ve been going through old cd’s trying to recreate history

Well the weekends are the harshest
I ask the boss to put me on, keep my mind off it
So I have an excuse not to go out
Well a woman cried and told me how the father of her son died
To see a real feeling from a person I did not know changed me
And I’ve alienated myself from others
To see a real person with real feelings I didn't know, changed me
It made me feel better for than just a second,
I guess that’s what they call voyeuristic


8. Townie Part II

This town doesn’t hold
The promise it did four years ago
Like an empty mantra through my head
In and out, "I don’t belong here"

Fermented, fragments of dreams
I’m ashamed at my own anger
It can get the best of me
It gets to the point where I can’t see through clouded memories

Now I’m going for a walk to remind myself
What I may have left out
Well it was a chance not to be cold
Then the rain poured heavy
It soaked through our winter coats

The burning taste of bleach
It’s burning the autumn air     

Do you ever wonder how many spiders that you swallow in your sleep, every week?
Do you ever wonder as they seep into your gut, what they dream?